Horseback Riding In Arizona
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian named "Little Feather" came along on horseback and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse, and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes Little Feather would let out a "Yeeee-haaaa!" so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final "Yeeee-haaaa!" and rode off.
"What on earth did you say to Little Feather to get him so excited?" asked the service-station attendant.
"Nothing," the woman answered. "I just sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off."
The attendant laughed and shook his head. "Lady," he said, "Little Feather doesn’t use a saddle!"
Looks Of Vice
A frustrated man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a some of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don’t waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you out of your mind?" replied the homeless man. "I haven’t played golf in twenty years, sir!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I’m not going to give you the money.
Instead, I’m going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That’s all right. I want her to see and accept what a man looks like after he has given up the vices of Beer, Fishing, Golf and S*x."
Dirty but funny lol and just how i like them. Have a star for making me laugh.