I cannot decide

My 19th birthday was amazing. I had a houseparty with decks, lights, smoke machine- the works. 200 people back from the club. Was being evicted from this condemned, cold house. A mate unexpectedly came through with a bag of chats in the club. I was gifted a g of class A charles too, a long time before it was common in my country. One or two women interested but so wired I don’t know what went on. Mad little events happened, all good. Then in the wee hours all my closest friends and my 2 brothers huddled in the living room I realised I had set a fire in the fireplace. Lit that up, cuddled into a big momma and one of the lads phoned for a fat bag of green for the comedown. It arrived 5 minutes later. Fire burned til midday. Pure love in that room. Unforgettable.

Then there was Valentines when I was 21. Madly in love for a year. She came to visit my new doss house for 5 days (usually one or two) Cooked a fancy 3 course meal for her. Flowers. Lingerie. All housemates helping, rolling j’s. They all cleared out when dinner was served. Made love maybe half a dozen times in a freezing cold room by a roaring fire. Did not know sex could be like that. Nothing has come close since.

Then there was a strange one. I’d quit all the heavy stuff and started working out and practicing Taijiquan. I quit my job and moved back in with my mother. This was a strange day as nothing unusual happened. I woke and cooked a good solid breakfast. Don’t have time for that now. 5 minutes and out the door normally.
I played with my niece and hit the gym. Broke my personal best on the ergometer and worked every muscle in my body to exhaustion thrice. Had a swim, steam and sauna. Snatched lunch from my nieces and nephews plates at my mothers. It’s kill or be killed for lunch there. Cycled out to the docks and soaked up some sun (this is a very rare treat in my country) Practiced my 32 movement chen style taijiquan. Cycled out to my brothers to watch a new episode of the Sopranos. It was the one where some New York made guys meet Vito in a gaybar.
During the episode a thunder and lightening storm erupted. As soon as it ended the brother and I cycled down to the beach. Sat on the roof of a changing room watching the lightening (very rare here too) in the hot summer rain and smoked a couple j’s.

Now I’m alone and I’ve lost touch with most of those friends.
Fvck it. I’m only 25. Perhaps there will be a day to top those to come.
Memories. God bless the memories.

when god blessed em with my hubby of almost one year in one week . 2.19.08

I cannot decide

My 19th birthday was amazing. I had a houseparty with decks, lights, smoke machine- the works. 200 people back from the club. Was being evicted from this condemned, cold house. A mate unexpectedly came through with a bag of chats in the club. I was gifted a g of class A charles too, a long time before it was common in my country. One or two women interested but so wired I don’t know what went on. Mad little events happened, all good. Then in the wee hours all my closest friends and my 2 brothers huddled in the living room I realised I had set a fire in the fireplace. Lit that up, cuddled into a big momma and one of the lads phoned for a fat bag of green for the comedown. It arrived 5 minutes later. Fire burned til midday. Pure love in that room. Unforgettable.

Then there was Valentines when I was 21. Madly in love for a year. She came to visit my new doss house for 5 days (usually one or two) Cooked a fancy 3 course meal for her. Flowers. Lingerie. All housemates helping, rolling j’s. They all cleared out when dinner was served. Made love maybe half a dozen times in a freezing cold room by a roaring fire. Did not know sex could be like that. Nothing has come close since.

Then there was a strange one. I’d quit all the heavy stuff and started working out and practicing Taijiquan. I quit my job and moved back in with my mother. This was a strange day as nothing unusual happened. I woke and cooked a good solid breakfast. Don’t have time for that now. 5 minutes and out the door normally.
I played with my niece and hit the gym. Broke my personal best on the ergometer and worked every muscle in my body to exhaustion thrice. Had a swim, steam and sauna. Snatched lunch from my nieces and nephews plates at my mothers. It’s kill or be killed for lunch there. Cycled out to the docks and soaked up some sun (this is a very rare treat in my country) Practiced my 32 movement chen style taijiquan. Cycled out to my brothers to watch a new episode of the Sopranos. It was the one where some New York made guys meet Vito in a gaybar.
During the episode a thunder and lightening storm erupted. As soon as it ended the brother and I cycled down to the beach. Sat on the roof of a changing room watching the lightening (very rare here too) in the hot summer rain and smoked a couple j’s.

Now I’m alone and I’ve lost touch with most of those friends.
Fvck it. I’m only 25. Perhaps there will be a day to top those to come.
Memories. God bless the memories.

Sounds like you’re smoking some now….

The day I got married and the births of my children were the happiest days of my life. But I’m only 22- I hope I will have many more. Good luck to you.